Perd's Humble Abode (:

I don’t really believe in numerology but I was just getting really bored while trying to sleep and chanced upon this website http://www.lifepathnumber.com/.

After keying in my birth date, I was given the following result. See if this matches what people know about me (and I am seriously getting more and more aware of myself by the day now that I have to start getting used to the fact that I am going to be a teacher - HAHA - totally unrelated but that’s Perd’s idiosyncrasy eh?):

Life Path ‘2’:

In many ways, you are a creature of habit and routine, and you like to your path and pattern well worn and familiar. A natural collector, you rarely dispose of anything that may have a shred of value.The positive attributes of the number 2 Life Path produces extremely sensitive people who generally have the most delicate ability to be balanced and fair. You clearly see the full spectrum of viewpoints in any argument or situation, and because of this people may seek you out to be a mediator. In this role you are able to settle disputes with the most unbiased flair. There is sincere concern for others; you think the best of people, and want the best for them.

Positive traits:
You are totally honest and open in thought, word and deed. You are apt to excel in any for of group activity where your expertise in handling and blending people can be used effectively. Manners and tact mark your way with others at all times, and you are not one to dominate a group or situation. You are the master of compromise and of maintaining harmony in your environment, never stooping to aggravate or argue.

Negative traits:
The negative side of the 2 is hardly a problem. The biggest obstacle and difficulty you may face is that of passivity and a state of apathy and lethargy. The negative 2 can be very pessimistic and accomplishes very little. Needless to say, the negative 2 doesn’t belong in the business world and even the more positive individual with the 2 Life Path may prefer a more amiable and less competitive environment.

I saw this on some random blogs and it made me ponder upon my own plans in life. Well, it’s never pleasant to make certain decisions but I guess such is life, and I won’t be able to run from reality the whole time. I have yet to decide (I have ‘till the 22nd of June) if I’m staying at NUS to read English or crossing over to NTU/NIE to do Education straight but a cursory look at my Internet bookmark reminded me of that goal I’ve been keeping to myself: a permanent job at the UNESCO. Yeah, I know, a tad far fetched but hey, everyone has a right to hope, no (and hope, it is a very powerful thing)? Haha.

So, yes, hopefully, in 13 years’ time, I’ll find myself as a staff at the UNESCO Office in France (ergo, I need to start being serious about my French - oh mon Dieu, qu’est-ce que c’est? :/) after completing my Master’s as a General Education Officer, and at 35, find a great cause worthy of everything I believe in.

What a life that would make.

Sometimes, just sometimes, especially for times like these, I could use a healthy dose of skepticism to get myself to the correct direction because I have far too romanticized ideas about living, seeing merely through rose-tinted glasses. It is just one week away to The Decision I Need to Make that is My Career (At Least for The Next Eight Years).

The two years in NS have indeed given me ample opportunities to explore more about myself - my likes and my dislikes, my predispositions, my habits - and at least for now, teaching feels like the most natural choice for me, which is the reason why I have been so perturbed by the fact that I still can’t know for sure what is best for me from here.

So, Bachelor of Arts in Education, or Bachelor of Arts in English Language (coupled eventually with a Postgrad Diploma in Education)? Search me.

I’m only sure that I want to go into teaching. But how to get there, that, I’m not too sure. Luckily, I can’t find any other profession that is as fulfilling with the same work-life balance, even if for the colossal amount of work teaching may not pay as well as a job in the private sector. Yes, I know teachers are more than just educators; they double up as researchers, critics (think essay assignments), mentors, counsellors, disciplinarians, event organizers, but that’s not what I call a job, it is a calling, what I would like to define as a strong urge toward a particular way of life. All I hope is for myself to steer away from the conventional path, of doing something merely to seek comfort from the reassurance that a stable income provides, for there’s more to life than just earning big money, don’t you think? And besides, how much is any company, or anyone for that matter, willing to pay me to forgo studying something that I truly enjoy?

Sure, label me as naive, uninformed, or just plain stupid. I know I’ll first have to wait for university to see far more of the world than I do now, thereby gesturing me to perhaps consider other career paths that I have not considered now. I know that if I choose to do B.A. in Education I would greatly limit my future career choices but what is it about life that makes everyone so paranoid about their tomorrows insofar as they forget to live the today? We worry about our health, our bank account, our dogs, but some of these are just undue worries that we ought to curb if we want to live the moment. Sure, it doesn’t hurt to make the best preparation in the present time so as to secure the best future that we can get but why is it that we let all of these overwhelm us, and take us further from taking delight in the very pleasure of being, well, alive? To say that to live in Singapore and obtain a degree in Education or the Humanities in general is redundant is just a self-defeating, self-fulfilling prophecy, which I find very, very saddening.

I, for one, have been privileged enough to receive Humanities-focused education for two years in junior college and despite choosing the Arts stream against all odds (coming from a Science-centric background in secondary school), I never regretted that decision any single day in my humble life. I have been enriched, my life has - greatly - and there is nothing that I wouldn’t give to go through that kind of experience all over again.

Perhaps, everyone has different thresholds for personal interests vis-a-vis money and the choice is ultimately ours to make. To each his own, I reckon. We are well within our rights to decide how much of our passion are we willing to trade off in exchange for more money, and no one, absolutely no one, is to judge you for that decision (although of course many still will, whether publicly or privately).

Granted, I may be writing off certain career paths with my imperfect knowledge of them, but that’s all I’ve got at the moment, isn’t that? All I want to do now, is to have four great years at uni, meeting great people with different academic foci and learning more about this world and how I could make a difference with what I am able to do, the gifts and prerogatives bestowed on me. Then, I shall walk down that path with equanimity, simultaneously reaping the benefits and facing the pitfalls of my choice. Whether the course I pick will be of a handicap to me in the job market or not, that’s a story for another day.

Today, I just want to assure myself that all of life is indeed a journey of which paths we take, what we look back on, and what we feel at the moment, it isn’t so much about what awaits us ahead. If today I can only determine my position and which way I want to go from here, I am more than content.

After all, what is this life, if full of care about the what’s-yet-to-be, we have no time to enjoy the ride? (Thanks, W.H. Davies, I was truly inspired! ;))

Godspeed, Perd! :D

It occured to me that I’m more comfortable talking to strangers I just met than the people I know sometimes. Like, I am free to say whatever I want to say without being judged for who I was, or what I’ve done. They only see me for who I am - here and now - not the person I once was there and then. Some people I know don’t even know the difference.

Granted, they say first impressions are rarely accurate but how much does your perception of someone else change from the first time you know each other anyway? We formulate a certain typecast in our head a moment after we meet someone, and that sticks, longer than we thought.

With a stranger I just met I’m free to paint whatever picture I want, and a whole new world awaiting to be explored opens up.

I am only the person I am now, wherefore don’t try seeing me beyond what you see.

Fine, I’m just waxing lyrical, I know. But hey, like I said, stop judging, OK? ;)